It certainly has been a long while since I have posted on my blog. I want to be able to write / type more about my thoughts on subjects that interest me at a given moment. However, aside from my changing environment entering a university, I find I am falling into a too familiar rut of starting a topic but not quite finishing with the passion I started with. I would eventually complete a thought with a modest effort and be done with it. I have been drafting many topics on a pad of paper in my free time, but I feel no more coherent than Winston Smith of 1984 scribbling jumbled thoughts into his diary with a paranoia of being watched. With this recurring habit, this blog of mine slipped into a quiet spot in my bookmarks. What am I to do?
What should be done is a new system of thought collection that might delay the publishing of thoughts, but keep them coherent and dormant until the day I publish them on this blog. This system should be simple and reflect my thought patterns as I have come to know them through the rigors of essay and research paper writing for my education. The thought patterns I exhibit that I can work best with is the stream of conscious. The stream of conscious is a type of writing that involves simply writing down whatever comes to the mind. It is a brainstorming method of a different flavor to that of the common storm chart or an outline. I have become so structured in my writing that I could never get past the score of little details. The main points become lost or even forgotten. Maybe a step back to the basics of writing are what are needed in order to get these thoughts out of space and onto paper and the bits and bytes.
I have even had the desire to erase certain posts off of this blog (which are too few as is) or more drastically remove the blog all together to start anew. I am not exceptionally proud of my earlier writing, but maybe that is the mark of a good writer in the making. Like the artist is never satisfied completing the masterpiece or the explorer feels the greatest sense of accomplishment taking the journey than reaching the destination, I need the desire to always draft and publish the better blog post not against someone else, but myself. I need to see past my earlier works as failures and see them as incremental improvements. My successfully published posts are each milestones of my growth as a writer. It cannot be the right course of action to erase my shortcomings of before. I need to archive my past works and continue to do the only thing I can do: write.
This blog is my oasis. In a desert of voices and text that seeps under the skin, I am constantly being filled with the knowledge and opinions of others. I needed a place where I can compose my thoughts without the constant haze of outside voices. I do like reading and listening to the thoughts of others, especially those who have years of experience and knowledge above me. However, sometimes I want to feel that my thoughts are truly my own and even share those ideas with those who will listen. This blog is where I will train the mind and order my knowledge and beliefs. Here there will be no dislike button to distract me. I have the right to my own thoughts and I will not take that right for granted. Like an artist; like an explorer; like a writer. My joy and passion will come from the act of writing rather than the act of pushing the publish button.